You are probably familiar with the two rules I am referring to. The Golden Rule states that you must treat others as you want to be treated, while the Platinum Rule changes the attention a bit and states that you must treat others as they want to be treated. Twice in the past month, I have attended meetings where someone has suggested that the solution to a persistent dilemma is to apply the “platinum rule.” As I have been told, the platinum rule is understood as opposed to the golden rule. The golden rule is to do unto others as you want them to do unto you; The platinum rule is to do what others want. In other words, rejecting reciprocity as an ideal in favor of something like empathy. First of all, and obviously, some desires are simply unreasonable. They are selfish or unrealistic or contrary to the direction of the organization. The application of the platinum rule to a “me first” employee is a train accident waiting to be passed. Prima donnas want exceptions to the general rules because of their own inherent specificity. The platinum rule suggests appreciating them.
If you`ve ever led people, you know what happens when you say “yes” to selfish and/or silly demands: you multiply them. If you reward the prima donna`s behavior, you will get more. Good luck. Here is another age-old debate. Gold or platinum? The golden rule is to treat others as you want to be treated. However, the platinum rule is to treat others as they want to be treated. No amount of essays [or books or videos] will change her mind until she realizes that what`s good for her isn`t good for everyone. We all want different things out of life and that`s okay. Is there a way to help your employees interact with each other and your other stakeholders? A company`s core values include these rules. These are agreed upon ground rules for interaction between team members and customers. At Equinox, for example, one of our core values is transparency.
Internally, “transparency” means communicating openly with each other about our skills, abilities, and needs in order to create an environment of trust and collaboration. For our customers, “transparency” has a similar meaning. We communicate openly about our capabilities, the project plan and the associated costs. Customers should never be surprised by a delivery scope, schedule, or invoice. Following the platinum rule wouldn`t force you to change your personality, but we would need to know ourselves and others well enough to understand that how we want to be treated or what makes us happy isn`t necessarily the same for others. For example, someone typed like Enneagram 7 is likely to enjoy their freedom and therefore would not appreciate you, who have received an Enneagram 1, imposing rules and structure on them simply because it`s something you thrive on. For the same reason, someone who has entered an Enneagram 2 and therefore enjoys building relationships and collaboration would not be impressed if you, who typed an Enneagram 5, asked them to work independently and isolated from others simply because you prefer to. The golden rule for any businessman is: put yourself in your customer`s shoes. Orison Swett Marden I`ve said it before: maybe it goes beyond these rules to just do the right thing. But does that mean we have to rely on common sense? And how common sense is? Perhaps that is the problem. Do I misunderstand the platinum rule? Is there a validity that I simply do not see? If you still think that the golden rule is the best rule, keep this golden rule in mind: whoever has the gold makes the rules.
Your customers hold the gold, and they will spend it elsewhere if you don`t take the time to get to know them. While the intent of the Golden Rule is good, it actually promotes the idea that we should project our own needs and desires onto others. The rule does not recognize the value of self-knowledge, curiosity about the needs of others, and the practice of empathy. Even though I quickly discovered the flaws of the platinum rule, I didn`t want to ignore them yet. The rule theoretically seemed to work as if it could work in terms of customer service. Shouldn`t I deliver what my customer wants and what I want? That sounds good, but it also quickly dissipated when I realized that the Golden Rule is principle-based and the Platinum Rule is preference-based. This means that a principled rule is universal and applicable to all situations. A preference is precisely this preference, but it is already derived from the golden rule.
Let me give you an example. When I work outside in 100 degrees with a friend and I am very thirsty. I guess my boyfriend is probably thirsty, so I apply the golden rule: I want a drink, so I offer my friend something to drink. I applied the golden rule. My friend will answer whether he is thirsty or not, but at least I asked. Then I tell my friend that I will have water, then I ask him what he wants and that I have water, tea or light cola (preference/platinum rule). In this statement, I applied the golden rule and also gave them an option for water, tea or light cola. My friend said I wanted a beer – so I`ll give him a beer? No, I recognize that we work outside and that he will be going home shortly, so I refuse. In this case, I exercised authority or leadership to keep my friend away. The beauty of the Golden Rule is that it implies that we apply the platinum rule (preference) when there are other options. However, there are many situations where you need to guide and guide someone to make the best decision.
This involves guiding our children in the right direction and those we can supervise at work. Even if they are not written, there are certain rules – and the question is whether these behaviors fit your vision. Cultures that are not promoted will still grow, and once a culture takes hold, it can be difficult to uproot it or steer it in a different direction. No. This is nonsense on stilts. Appeasement is not ethics. Managing expectations is a fundamental part of people management. I`ve known cc faculties that believe they are entitled to the 2/2 teaching load of the flagship state`s faculty, though they are strangely silent about research expectations. I have seen employees honestly believe that the university is run to their advantage. And yes, I`ve seen administrators manage by ego, which can never really be satisfied.
No matter how sincere these wishes are, they are inappropriate. The mission of the College is the point. If your desires contradict the college`s mission, you should probably find another job. In this role, the ethical guideline I found most useful is not gold or platinum; It is newsprint. If a certain action or decision was taken by the local newspaper, could I defend it? I don`t define “defend” as “obtaining universal consent” because that`s just not the reality. But answering questions with something like, “What would it look like if it were widespread?” can bring some impersonal clarity and remove personal preferences from the equation. If biology departments receive special treatment, how will mathematicians think of it when it comes out (which inevitably will)? This necessarily means saying “no” to certain wishes, but most people have shown that they are able to adjust their desires to certain basic parameters. The problem with the Golden Rule is that it is based on the assumption that we are all the same and therefore everyone wants to be treated as YOU want to be treated. But that couldn`t be further from the truth.
In fact, the opposite is true. We are all different and unique. We all have different perspectives, motivations and needs. How then can we really think that everyone wants to be treated exactly as WE want to be treated? There may be parameters where it makes sense. But as a guideline for academic administration, it is a howler of the first order. This is a very bad idea. This is so profoundly false that I have to wonder if I am missing something, because no intelligent person who exists for even a minute would knowingly support the idea of such a colossal injustice. But it still exists. Also, some people are so attuned to status that they want everything their peers have, plus one. (It`s a variation of the teenager who wants to be like all her friends, but a little prettier.) If you have more than one person like this – and you do – then fulfilling desires is literally impossible.
For this reason, many have begun to apply the platinum rule: “Treat others as YOU would like to be treated. Unlike the Golden Rule, the Platinum Rule understands and takes into account the fact that not everyone wants to be treated equally. It states that we should treat people as they want to be treated, no matter how we personally prefer to be treated in similar situations. This shifts the focus of relationships from “this is what I want, so I give everyone the same” to “let me understand what they want first, then I give it to them.” The Golden Rule is still king and it assumes that those in leadership positions have the wisdom to lead, lead and guide when necessary. Building compassionate and empathetic relationships with others is a difficult task if we take the time to consider the complexities of human nature. When we look at others through the prism of the Enneagram, we see that the Golden Rule seems more self-centered than friendly, and that the platinum-centric approach seems more accepting of our differences.